Post a story

Arts ›

From the community

"Ask Debbie Sue" Dating advice with author & comedian Debbie Sue Goodman

Debbie Sue at Indian Trails library

I hope you’re all enjoying the nice weather. It’s been a horrible year for me so far. My Mom went in and out of the hospital three times since January. She’s out of the hospital again and back home now, thank goodness. I hope she stays healthy and stays out of the hospital forever. I hope the rest of the year is much better then the first part of the year.

Thank you to everyone who sent me their prayers and good wishes for my mom.

I received many letters from my readers asking what to do when someone they're dating becomes possessive and controlling. A few men wrote about dating women that became possessive after only one or two dates. They asked me what I would do if that happened to me. If you have a bad feeling about dating someone, then go with your instincts and end the relationship. If someone becomes possessive after only a handful of dates, that's a 'sign' right there to not continue dating them. The letter below is from one of my female readers and a response to a question from a male reader who would like to remain anonymous.

Dear Debbie Sue: ‘I’m in my thirties and dating a man my age for five weeks. We have a great time together when we go out alone. We go dining and play golf together. When we’re out with other couples he becomes possessive and non-trusting. He thinks I’m dating other men. I told him he’s the only man I’m dating but he doesn’t believe me. If I don’t see him for one night, He wants me to ‘prove’ that I’m not with another man. He questions my whereabouts and doesn’t believe a word I say anymore. I had plans to go with a female friend for a drink after work. He asked me to show him the receipt from the bar and asked for my friends’ number to call her to ‘verify’ the story! He started out being a great guy, but this is bothering me. Not sure if I should date him anymore.’ Shannon

Dear Shannon, I dated a guy several years ago that got very possessive and didn't trust me after going together only three weeks. He called me several times a day. I made plans with a girlfriend to go to a movie. He kept calling my cell phone asking where I was and who I was with. The following day I met him for lunch. He spoke very loud in the restaurant and said, "Show me the movie stub from last night!" I didn't go out with him anymore. If you're having doubts about dating this guy, go with your instincts. You know he's not the right guy for you. This is a perfect example of a toxic relationship. A healthy relationship is based on trust and respect. I would move on and end this relationship now.

Dear Anonymous: This is not a healthy relationship. The woman you're dating does not have to know your whereabouts all day. If she keeps texting you and calling you at work, don't answer. Call her back when you're home. Explain that you're busy during the day. If she continues to be possessive and controlling, I wouldn't go out with her anymore.

Until next time.. ‘Keep Smiling!’

Debbie Sue

Send comments & questions to:

Join Debbie and her friends on June 29th at 9:00 pm, for ‘An Evening of Comedy, Music and Spoken Word’ at The Hidden Shamrock Restaurant & Bar 2723 N. Halsted St. in Chicago.

Flag as inappropriate

Share this story

Recommended stories